STABILITY

     Transition is hard. After finishing my two year internship with Servant Partners, I realized that I love the idea of staying put. I gave myself one year to discern where I am going in life. Mind you not a permanent go, but a "what is the next steps in life" kind of thing. Needless to say, it has almost been one year and still have no clue what is next and what I am "doing" with my life.
     During this year, I've learned something about myself, I really like stability. I find it comforting that I have a place I can call my own and a job that I don't have to quit because I am leaving school for the real world. I think stability is always something I knew I wanted, but never had the capability to have. Now that my life  is not a total and complete mess, I am really enjoying this. Not having to worry were my next meal comes from or were I am going to live once my lease is up. I think this is why it's been difficult trying to discern my next steps... I am comfortable. Not sure that's a good thing.....
   

Movies

     I love movies! It's probably the most enjoyable activity I like doing on my down time. My favorite kind of movies are, what some may call, "dumb" movies. They are silly and pointless but soooooo hilarious! For example; "Anchorman" or "Zoolander" However, every now and then I come across a good drama that reels me in from start to finish, like "Pride and Prejudice" or "Forrest Gump". I recently watched a movie (name disclosed so not to spoil anything for anyone) that is now on my list of great movies. I can't really explain why I enjoyed it so much, maybe the acting, or the story line, or the special effects but lets put it like this... Have you ever watched a movie and it left you completely speechless? The kind of speechless where the car ride home is silent and the only thing you can hear is your thoughts saying.. "Did that just happen?" or "What the heck just happened?" I can count on one hand how many times I have been speechless after a movie. This particular movie left me wanting, but not for more, if that makes since. Well, maybe for more of the story but it left a nudge in my heart, like ouch that hurt, what else happens. Well needless to say it was a great movie!

Streams of Consciousness

Random things that came to my mind a while back.... 

I think about why I exactly moved into the bay in the first place. I mean of course, who doesn't want to live in sunny California? However, I get the feeling that the sun is not why I am here. And yet again I am stuck with out an answer to why God has chosen to lift me from one place of poverty to another. Whatever the case may be i am sure i will find out.... right?

Invisible Scars,

It stil hurts when you push at it.
Though unseen i can still see them
Wanting to cover my body
not knowing what to do
Thinking people the walk by can see them too
but they are invisible
my scars to enternally bare
hearts broken and carelessly sewen together
the string i call pride has been cut into pieces only to be glued together waiting to be cut again
it still hurts when you push on it even though it's invisible
Why do you incest on making more
why when it's healed you keep coming back to pour
Pour into the scars as they keep getting bigger
it still hurts

"Again I observed all the oppression that takes place in our world. i saw the tears of the oppressed  with no one to comfort them. The oppressors have great power, and the victims are helpless. so i conclude that the dead are better off than the living. And most fortunate of all are those who are never born. For they have never seen all the evil that is done in our word." Ecclesiastes 4: 1-6

Let's Do This!

     I want to blog more! So here's to hoping this takes off and I can write on here regularly, even if it's a small post. 

Today's post is about this documentary I saw called "Searching for Sugar Man" (See trailer below)

A must watch! So very intriguing great story. Not to mention.... I love the music!!! 

Peace,

Holly

Seeing How your Abundance of Love Overpowers Me

I wrote this as my reflection for the first quarter of the Servant Partner internship:



I watch from afar as my shift from seeing the poor as a blank face to
God who has a story and yearns for the right to be known and loved
Seeing How your Abundance of Love Overpowers Them

To see a God that rules not from just above but from the side
Right beside holding our hands every step that we take
Seeing How your Abundance of Love Overpowers Us

From a life so undeserving and a heart so impure
From a pile of ash and waste
You call me daughter
Seeing How your Abundance of Love Overpowers Me

I laugh to know that the desires of my heart have come true
That this imperfection has moved into the city
Seeing How your Abundance of Love Overpowers Me

I feel the fire burning with my desire to serve this city
A dream so long forgotten and now a dream come true
Seeing How your Abundance of Love Overpowers Me

A hope in a neighborhood set aside for calamity
Feeling the fear steadily rising up in me as we
Forget your abundance of love that overpowers us

The love that one can feel from another is so insufficient
A temporary kind of love that brings no satisfaction on the outside
But why do we crave it so much on the inside
Wanting and longing for your abundance of love to Overpower Us

How we long to see a harbor of your love that brings
Hope in what we do not see so we can
Feel the abundance of love overpower us

So we wait with anticipation
Wait, Watch, and See as your Abundance of Love Overpower us

Lost In You

So this is something i wrote in Manila... let's try it on for size..
STILL NEEDS WORK

I wish I could get lost in you
Just to look in your eyes and be lost for days
I wish I can stay in your arms
Where the sin and the brokenness in my world will never tempt me
Your love is more than I can comprehend
From a life so undeserving
A heart so impure
From a pile of ash and waste you call me daughter
Like a candle that burns to give light
My heart burns to see your justice come to this city
How can a life be so blessed when thousands around me are paralyzed
Life stood still and there is nowhere to go but down
Let the city become engulfed in your arms
Where sin and brokenness escapes them and
All they want to do is become lost in you.

Well Life has been so very busy lately, but to update people on my life. I was in Manila for three weeks, were we lived in a slum called Botocan. I got back Sep. 21st. Manila is hot but also so awesome. I made many amazing friends while I was there. God really has stretched me in my way of praying, specifically praying meaningful prayers for others and myself. What does it mean to intercede for the ones I love and the ones I do not even know? Every Tuesday we would stay with a family in the community and we were able to talk with them about their life and what they experinece while living in Botocan. It was amazing becasue I saw the face of Jesus in the the people in Botocan. The smile on their faces and the love they showed me and the team, while feeding us, playing basketball, singing Justin Beiber (or any other music), walking around, talking, or playing games. The people of botocan showed me more love and taught me more than, I feel, I gave back. If you want to know more about Manila call me or chat me up.

I am pretty much settled in my apartment with my two roommates and our neighbors are very kind. The other interns are amazing! Each of them has this unique spirit that makes our team a community :)I am trying to find a job still, as with more than half of the interns as well, it is proven pretty hard and sometime discouraging to not have stable income. God is a god of provision and he will provide for my needs! I say this with confidence because I know he will. Well If I think of more to write I will. Much love to you all!

Shalom